Saying Goodbye To A Family Pet

I was recently referenced in an article on pet loss at

One important aspect of grieving the loss of a pet, that often goes overlooked, is holding a memorial for your beloved deceased pet. Pet memorials can help to bring closure to a grief that is largely unrecognized in broader society.

You can read the article here.

Pet Loss: Part 3

This is the third part of a series on pet loss. You can read Part 2 here.

For some, losing a beloved pet can be one of the more painful life experiences. Bereaved pet owners can become so grief-stricken that they are unable, at least immediately, to perform daily activities. I have heard of bereaved pet owners who are unable to go to work because they are unable to stop crying, or have completely lost focus and concentration.

One of the main factors that assists with getting over a loss is emotional support. This applies to both deceased pets and people; however, getting over the death of a pet carries additional complexities. Since our society doesn’t value the open expression of grief in general, we tend to stagnate somewhere along the grieving process. With pets, there is little to no social norms that support the expression of grief towards a deceased pet. Therefore, some bereaved pet owners may never fully come to terms with the loss of their pet, or feel ashamed when mourning a pet’s death.

Given that social support contributes to good grief, it is important for bereaved pet owners to seek out others who will provide non-judgmental empathy and emotional support. I encourage you to be selective. All too often, people tell me that their grief is met with ridicule or indifference. In order to work through pet loss grief, bereaved pet owners need to find others with whom they can openly express their sorrow.

For those that are lacking social support, there are usually pet loss support groups available at local animal rescue organizations and shelters. Some bereaved pet owners may need additional support, and a licensed counselor can provide the non-judgmental empathy that may be lacking elsewhere.

Please contact me if you are interested in receiving more information, or my services.

Pet Loss: Part I

Good Grief

I am honored to be giving a talk tonight for the animal rescue organization, Austin Pets Alive. I will be speaking about pet loss and grief.

The topic of pet loss and grief is an often overlooked and undervalued societal norm. Yet, for some pet owners who are deeply attached to their pets, they will experience real emotional turmoil when their pet companion dies. In fact, the grief that comes from the death of a pet can be just as painful as the grief surrounding the loss of a person.

I would like to share with you some of the information I will be presenting tonight.

In the United States, we spend tens of billions of dollars on pet products each year.  It’s common to see pets included in leisure activities, holidays, and special events. For Halloween this year, there were numerous pets dressed up as pumpkins, witches, and ghosts. Here, in Austin, we have been recognized as the third most dog-friendly city in the nation.

Social conventions allow us to openly dote on our pet companions. In pet-friendly Austin, people are quick to mention that some pets are considered members of the family. What happens, though, when a pet companion dies?

How do others you know  react to the loss of a beloved pet?

How do family and friends react when someone loses their pet?

How did you feel when you lost your pet?

At a broader level, how do prescribed social norms influence the extent to which we grieve and mourn our pets?

The grief that comes with the loss of a pet, or anticipating the loss of a pet, can be real emotional pain. Chances are, the deeper the attachment an individual has to a pet, the stronger the grief reaction. There is a significant disconnect in our society between being able to openly love and care for a pet, and being able to openly mourn a pet’s passing.

One purpose of the talk tonight, is to raise awareness regarding current societal norms about pet loss: the death of a pet is largely  an invalidated grief in our society. I also plan to discuss the grief process for bereaved pet owners, and how to work through the grief.

This post is the first of a series to elucidate the topic of pet loss and grief reactions of bereaved pet owners.